When beauty is your banner

It's still all around me. Beauty never stops knocking on my door but with a dull heart it is hard to see it. The crooked picture frame strikes to annoy me rather than filling me with it's idiosyncratic beauty. The afternoon sunlight shining boldly through the panes makes me squint, turning my head from its generous giving. I grab a glass of water and gulp it down noisily - this thirstiness reflecting the state of my heart. I am the dry soil needing the watering from Beauty but the land is so parched that the water pours off the surface, barely penetrating. What softening of my heart must take place to be able to receive? My husband walks in the door after a long, hard week. Don't we all need this infusion of beauty - this reminder that life was meant for so much more and in the searching out we can find so much more? I look at him, this man I love, and I see the beauty in him - the life of a man surrendered to the only One that can truly love us. The sunlight doesn't seem so scarring anymore, it makes the room glow, it is dripping on my heart. Here I can begin the grace of counting of the blessings again:
-Mountains sillouetted against the expanse of blue.
-Delayed Christmas card arriving today with a picture and note from a family I lived with 16 years ago. Sweet memories and beautiful grown up girls.
-Evening plans canceled yet turning into something else special.
-Beautiful husband, faithful and loving.
I am reminded once again that my life is good. I live in the midst of so many graces and, yes, I live in the midst of beauty. My eyes, heart, mind need retraining to see it but I will keep journeying and pressing on until beauty is my banner.