Swimming into the ocean of love

She wondered if it was the ocean speaking to her. It could have been language, those crashing waves on the hard rocks. Liquid, unrelenting and unwearied in its falling onto the hard place.
There was no end to the relentless pounding of those waves working the rough edges  into smooth places.  “I never give up, I never give up…” was the aquatic refrain.  Closing her eyes she could feel the salt against her skin, taste it on her lips.
Feeling beside her, she found a circle in her grip. Glancing down she saw the grey roundness lying flat against her palm. Granite, surrendered to the weight of water, turned over and over, tumbled into smoothness.
She felt like the odd part of the beach as she sat there alone, the one not fully surrendered - the one who feared the water cascading over her. The rocks were so yielding, she was different. She had a will which was afraid of giving all in the free fall of love. “Hold back,” was her mantra, as the ocean kept on, “I never give up…”
Clenching the stone, she pulled her arm back and released it as it made an arc through the air and entered through waters skin. It was like her mockery, her taunt to the power - a frail attempt to shoot bullets, making a lover an enemy. It was self-protection. Yet still the waves kept on with their love song.
She sat there long, feeling the draw of love and the paralyzing fear. She knew the tug of war in her own heart – to choose vulnerability and life or choose trying to make herself safe and, with that, all the dying of spontaneous joy and hope and desire.
The glowing, golden orb grew heavy in the sky – pregnant with the day. Clouds of orange, pink, yellow weaved across the evening sky like the climax of a symphony. She stood up, feeling the warmth, yet slowly receding. Walking closer she saw the sun dip its belly straight into the water. It had chosen its way.  From it emanated a golden highway which danced across the water tips. It pointed straight to her. It had made a way for her. Caught off-guard by beauty, she found herself moving towards that greater power. She had been captivated by this extravagant display of wonder and her heart was full with it. There was no room for fear.

Water reached her ankles, her knees, her thighs, and she heard the refrain still ringing, “I never give up….” And she dove headlong into liquid love, into the Way of gold.


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