Pushing back the black cloud of heaviness

Weary. That's how I felt today. I was wearing the tinted glasses, not the rose colored ones but the dark gray ones. Accusation piled upon accusation. I'm not a good enough parent. I'm failing in this area of my life. I'm tired ALL the time. I drag my family down into the pit I can't seem to climb out of.
How do I get free from a hole that I just seem to dig into deeper?
The early morning morphed into mid morning, blurred into lunch and spilled into afternoon....and here I am right now, 1:30pm. I don't have the chance to live this day again. It's a one shot deal and I am the only one who can choose to make this different.
You see, my tendency is to quit, I feel my will breaking and allow it to be broken further still. The fighter in me gets quelled too easily. I can't really live this way. I HAVE to fight. I can't let the patterns that are all too familiar get me down. There really is a way out but I have to choose it.
So here I am with the worship music cranked up.

You have overcome. Jesus you have overcome the world. 
I am not fighting this alone. And thank you Jesus that you really have won this battle - we know the end of the story. Jesus, thank you that you are at the right hand of the Father interceding for me. You do not accuse! I am yours Jesus.

It is that truth that sustains me, will always sustain me. For I am convinced that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 8:38,39.

Love wins. Always.


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