Those days when you just don't feel like you are enough......

It swirls around me like a haze, blinding me to reality and all that is good. It's that feeling that I am just not enough....
You see, my energy has been wiped out lately and I have no real idea why but not having my strength reveals all the cracks in my make-up...you know, the ways I cover up all my "inadequacies"....usually I can be more brave, feel more joy, have more resource to take care of those I love....but these last days I haven't had the energy to be creative, fun, or take care of others needs. And this all leaves me feeling bankrupt because will my husband really keep loving me if I can't give to him? Will my kids get all irritable and frustrated because they are bored and I am not taking care of them well? And even as I write this I know that I am putting myself right where God is supposed to be in their lives.....I can see it clearer now, like the fog is lifting.

I know that love does look like laying down your life for another, but what about if I make myself responsible for someone else's happiness? That isn't love. That's trying to be God. Ouch. Well, at least this moment of pure honesty might give me room to step back and let God be God.

Reality is "I am not enough". I never will be. But there is someone who is enough and He fills my cup and makes me more than enough. And He is also enough for my husband, my children and my friends.

Maybe I could just rejoice this morning in knowing that I am not enough and I don't have to be because HE IS.

Maybe that could be my strength for today.


Comments

Anonymous said…
YOU are ENOUGH because HE made you enough.
PS and Brene Brown would agree with me too ;-) x
Kirsty Sarris said…
Thank you anonymous :) Yes, you are actually quite right! It takes a little bit of reworking of the brain to actually believe this, yes?

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