The Father's Heart

This barrenness of heart, it plagues me; this empty vessel of a heart I offer out there in faith hoping it will be filled. My focus all turned inward, I struggle with what I know. I believe in theory that God loves me but do I know that He loves me, really know it, really feel His enjoyment of me? Not really. I don't yet fully relate to Him as the Father that wants me to run to Him in my weakness instead of trying to hide it behind fig leaves. Weakness feels embarrassing and the divine exchange of His living beauty for my dead ashes is surely too benevolent.
Communion with God  is based entirely on His grace and mercy so why do I keep trying to make myself presentable? I could never climb the ladder of righteousness and find myself high enough to reach Him so why do I keep trying? Unconditional love is the basis of the Kingdom of Heaven and I haven't quite got that yet. Somehow working hard seems more acceptable than running blooded and broken into the arms of a loving Father.
The Father who loves, the Father who is compassionate, patient, approachable, fiercely protecting His children - He is just like Jesus. This Father, the One who sent the Holy Spirit to come and adopt us back into our original family, He is infinite in glory and yet He stoops low to serve. He is the One who is surrounded by angels and the One who will wipe every tear from my eye. He is the One who knitted together microscopic cells in my mothers womb and the One who created the entire Universe. There is no one like Him.
When I look at Him I see love, and that love is like liquid dripping all over me. The vessel drips wet again as I point the mirror of my heart towards the only true source of light and life. The barren heart never gets filled by focusing on its emptiness but by beholding the One who has been faithful to me even in my weakness, who is faithful and will always be faithful.

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