The Gift of Himself

He stands in the room. It is impossible to ignore Him - I am consumed by Him. The beauty of this Man strikes me deeply, painfully, wonderfully deeply. It penetrates into the weathered heart of my existence and finds something more, a longing, a knowing that I was made for something different than this fallen world.
I find myself staring, captivated by His perfection. He is stunning, amazing. I start, surprised, as I find His gaze holding mine - the eyes of a Lover holding me in the transparent purity of His affection. His love is undiluted, overwhelming, a gift. I have stolen His heart. I struggle internally feeling my own doubt, my own betrayal of Him and knowing that I can't hide. The shame I feel rises up on the inside, why would He love me? What can I give Him? Love without condition is hard for me to grapple with. Doesn't He want something from me? I would almost feel more comfortable if I could quantify it, make sense of it, but I can't. He loves because He is Love, He is a Lover by nature and to do anything but love me would be inconsistent with His character. I can't stop Him from loving me.
My gaze escapes the lock of His momentarily as I squirm a little internally, not knowing what to do with a love that I don't have to earn. My eyes fix on His hair, black and wavy, crowning His head. Immediately the image flickers through my mind of the crown of thorns laid heavy on His brow, piercing the skin, blood rolling down. Oh God, why? Not your beautiful head, the one containing thoughts so pure - thoughts like gold in their purity, without flaw.
I move my sorrowed eyes to His body and see His limbs, so strong, and I picture them nailed to the wooden cross, His body hanging there. I remember how Samson brought down the temple with the strength of His body and I realize that, with the Spirit coursing through the veins of the Lover, He could have ripped the nails right out of that wood and got down off that cross. It wasn't the nails that held Him there, it was love. At any point He could have saved Himself, those powerful limbs thrusting His body away from the tree, but He wasn't in this for saving Himself, He was in it for saving me. He was thinking of me on that cross, for eternity with His bride. He suffered so I could be healed, forgiven, made whole, cleansed. He made a way for me to be back with Him again, to enjoy the Glory of Eden again.
This is the gift that He gives, it's the gift of Himself, freely given to be bloodied and broken so the bleeding, crushed human race could find the Lover, find the Man of Peace, find the Healer, find the Provider, find the Brother, find the Father. It's what we've all been longing for our whole lives. He gives it, freely.

Song of Solomon 4:9, 5:10-16, Matthew 27:29, 32-44, Judges 16:26-30,  Hebrews 12:2, 10:10, Song of Songs 5:16, Isaiah 9:6, 53:5, Philippians 4:19, Proverbs 18:24.


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